Sawada Tsunayoshi || Vongola Decimo TYL (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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rebornfandom2018-12-16 07:35 pm
warmskies) wrote in rebornfandom2018-12-16 07:35 pm
Entry tags:
Katekyo Hitman Reborn DadOff
original tumblr post here. i tried to upload it with pictures, tumblr failed, I lost the pictures, and that's why there are descriptions instead. I promise this is all manga supported.
subtitle: comparing Iemitsu and Reborn’s relationship to Tsuna, an undertaking which does not make the former look particularly sterling in any way.
Throughout Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, most of Tsuna’s focused relationships are on people near his own age. The majority of his guardians attend school with him, along with the Simon Family. His first major antagonist is a teenager as well. (What’s up with Xanxus, put into cryostasis around the same age? We just don’t know.)
There are two adults, however, who have quite an influence on Tsuna: Iemitsu Sawada and Reborn.
Funnily enough, despite being in similar roles- that of an adult male meant to be respected and (in the best case scenario) cared for- how they interact with Tsuna, their relationship with him, and ultimately how he treats them back are quite contrasting.
The main differences can be divided into four areas, more or less, with the first ultimately encompassing them all.
Communication
You’d think, as the man in charge of an entire division of the Vongola (CEDEF), that Iemitsu would be quite good at communicating with others. When it comes to his son, however, this is by far something he crashes and burns in.
[image: panel 1 on the right. Reborn: “You aren’t going to tell Tsuna about yourself?” Iemitsu: “I’m prepared to say it anytime, but it just won’t happen that smoothly.”]
[panel 2 on the left: Iemitsu “Well, just go along with it! I’ve already distributed what I had to anyway… Nana~. Food!!”]
…Although it would help if he would actually attempt to take the wheel and star the car instead of letting it slam straight into a wall more than half the time.
This is Iemitsu’s problem consistently throughout the series.
When he has an opportunity to speak with his son, he goes about it in the most asinine way and doesn’t push at it…
[image: Iemitsu bursting into Tsuna’s room at 4 in the morning asking if he wants to catch breakfast.]
When things finally end up with him being confronted by his son, he seems unbelievably incapable of talking with him normally. Instead, he acts on a presumed familiarity that’s out of place, doesn’t appear to take things seriously so his son can’t take him seriously, carries on an awkward conversation more with himself than Tsuna…
[image - Iemitsu: “WHAT WAS IT, MATH? ISN’T THAT SOME FUNNY STUFF!?” Tsuna: (thinking) “He’s forcefully trying to keep the conversation going!! And he’s going off on tangents!” (speaking) “It’s… nothing funny.”]
And even if he has the perfect chance to talk to his son about, you know… The Vongola ring, the Varia coming after him, his own role within the CEDEF that he could finally reveal to his son…
[panel on left - Iemitsu: (about the Vongola ring he put on Tsuna’s neck in the middle of the night) “What is that, Tsuna? You’re looking sexy. Isn’t that a pendant?”]
[panel on the right, a couple pages later - Tsuna: “Don’t lie! Who else besides you would do it!?” Reborn: “You didn’t hear anything from [Iemitsu]?”]
Dammit, Iemitsu.
And this isn’t even talking about his bad habit of running away.
[image - Iemitsu: “Oh yeah! Congratulations on one victory! Daddy won’t be able to come home for a while. But be a good boy!” Tsuna: “Hey! That’s troublesome! DON’T RUN AWAY!!”]
It should be noted that, by this panel, Iemitsu made a promise to Tsuna that he would tell him everything later. (When news came through that the Varia were in town and Levi A Than was going after Lambo.) Yet throughout the rest of this arc, Iemitsu rarely if ever explains anything about the battles, the Vongola rings, or the Varia. The majority of Tsuna’s knowledge comes from Reborn.
Maybe Iemitsu has his reasons. He has had no communication with his son for years now, so of course he’ll be awkward in a conversation with him. (Even if this could have been easily amended by writing letters or phoning sometimes.) His tendency to not tell Tsuna anything, well, maybe that’s his tendency in CEDEF- to relegate and trust others under him to inform everyone else of vital information since he can’t do everything.
But. You know. You’d think he could find time at SOME point to make things different and talk with his son.
To Tsuna, after all, none of these potential reasons matter. They’re all excuses. In his eyes, Iemitsu is nothing more than a stranger who has suddenly barged into his life again, makes a reckless mess, speaks over him and doesn’t bother to notice when he’s uncomfortable. After the reveal that Iemitsu runs CEDEF, none of those views change. If anything, they’re made worse by the knowledge that at ANY time Iemitsu could have told him about everything to his face… but he didn’t.
[image - Iemitsu: “Feel free to talk to Daddy about anything.” Tsuna: (speaking) “I-It’s okay!” (thinking) “There’s no point for me to talk about the mafia to Dad!!”]
It’s little wonder that the above is his reaction. Iemitsu is, to Tsuna’s knowledge at that point, a normal person like, say, Kyoko is. That’s reason enough for him to not get his dad involved. Worse yet, his father is unreliable, and weird, and annoying…
There’s no point indeed.
A good contrast is Yamamoto and his father. Their relationship is one that we also get to get a glimpse of during the Varia Ring Battles arc. When told he needs to get stronger, Yamamoto’s first thoughts appear to immediately be of his reliable father. When training his son, Tsuyoshi wastes no time in telling Yamamoto that this is serious but also giving praise where it’s due.
When he’s finished learning the forms, Yamamoto points out that his father never asked him why he was learning with the implication that he would tell him if he did.
In return, Tsuyoshi says there’s no need, and that he has a good enough idea already.
Every bit of their interactions with one another are full of comfort, trust, and honesty. It’s the polar opposite to Tsuna and Iemitsu’s relationship.
Reborn, unlike Iemitsu, doesn’t skirt the issue. There are plenty of examples throughout the series of Reborn being straight to the point when it comes to things Tsuna needs to know, both on a professional level and otherwise. Of course he’ll tell Tsuna about the Varia, what they’re capable of, and yeah he’s really too young to be getting the ring now but these are the circumstances.
But also, when he notes that something is off with Tsuna…
[image - Reborn: “What’s the matter? You’re looking all tired.”]
He just asks. No dancing around the subject. No ridiculous nonsense. Reborn doesn’t say “You can come to me if you want.” He is the one to take the initiative and prove himself as a reliable source.
In return…
[image - Tsuna: “Gokudera-kun respects me as the tenth leader of Vongola… But how about as his friend?”]
[image - Reborn: (speaking) Each time that battle came up in conversation, I’d always hear, “Haven’t you got any new information?” or the like. It seems he was pretty worried about all of you.” Flashback Tsuna: “Those guys… They haven’t been killed, have they?”]
Even in the early chapters, Tsuna is shown to open up to Reborn about matters close to his heart (wondering about his relationship with a close friend) and matters dangerous re: the world Reborn introduced him to (the fate of the Kokuyo gang and if they’d be alright). In stressful times, he relies on Reborn. He confides in him. They’re things Reborn has earned.
Now, I’m not saying Iemitsu should be condemned just for having poor communication skills with his son. Awkward inability to connect with their child or talk with them isn’t really that uncommon with parents. Failure to tell his son about the mafia assassins coming after him (and etc) aside, everything else isn’t, like, the worst shit in the world.
That’s where the next part comes in.
Honesty
Lying to your kids is never a good thing. There are some things where it’s culturally acceptable, like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
It is generally not acceptable to lie to your child that you’ve gone missing (and could potentially be plain dead).
[image - Tsuna: He… He’s finally been found!?” Nana: Found..? What are you talking about…?” Tsuna: “Dad disappeared somewhere, didn’t he!?”]
Alright. To be fair, it does seem like something Tsuna was expected to catch onto- like how there’s no way reindeer can fly or some old dude can go around the whole world in a single night with constant present stops. Likewise, there’s no way stay-at-home mom Nana Sawada can afford a nice large house that keeps her, her son, and the bunch of weirdos that now live with them perfectly happy. Plus food.
(On the other side, if Iemitsu was gone for two years, and Tsuna is only 14… Then they told this to a 11/12 year old, and Nana at least should know how oblivious Tsuna can be in certain areas.)
[image - Tsuna: “What are you holding!? This is Japanese sake!!” Fuuta: “Noo, Papan said it’s water so drink… hic!”]
…Okay, goddammit Iemitsu.
This is on top of the fact that he has lied to his family, Nana and Tsuna, for thirteen years up until this point. There’s the little and obvious, such as Tsuna recalling a time when his father told him that he controlled all the traffic lights in the world… Instead of the “oil company” lie he clearly told Nana.
Then there’s the huge lies, such as the fact that he’s really part of the mafia.
It’s understandable, to a point. No one wants to tell their loved one that they’re part of an enormous criminal organization.
Yet we go over this in the series- both in the Varia arc and the TYL arc. We go over it when Tsuna nearly crumbles under the pressure of Kyoko asking him about the ring battles, her upset that she’s being kept out of the loop and him realizing that this could seriously hurt her brother and doesn’t she deserve to know? We go over this when Kyoko and Haru demand to be told about what’s happening, because it involves them too and they’re not any safer from being kept in the dark.
That’s the problem here too. Iemitsu is a high ranking member of the most powerful mafia family in the world. Nana and Tsuna are absolutely acceptable targets. Tsuna becoming the next Vongola boss just heightens this. And leaving a small child electrified and beat to shit and no answers…?
He also seems to be allergic to responsibility for his own actions.
[image - Iemitsu: “You’ve been sleeping ever since Daddy came home. I thought you were avoiding me and that broke my heart…” Tsuna: “The one who was sleeping all day yesterday was you!!!”]
It’s not a good parent that tries to shuffle responsibility from themself to their child, especially with such a blatant lie that anyone could call out. This is constant lying along with the fact that Iemitsu knows his son is aware of the mafia and that he will likely get involved with it deeply in the future… There’s no reason for it.
Needless to say, Reborn doesn’t give such outright lies to Tsuna. If I recall correctly, the amount of times he lies in the series could be counted on one hand. More commonly, he lies through omission when he does. For example, going “Who knows?” when Tsuna asks him after Hyper Dying Will training if his father was around. It’s a definite non-answer.
Yet those few times are overwhelmed by all the times he tells Tsuna the truth. This is what you’re going to expect in the mafia. This is what your enemies are capable of. This is what you need to do, if you want you and your loved ones to survive. I need this of you- can you do it for me?
He usually tries to give his student all he can so that Tsuna will grow up into a good man despite the future that lays ahead of him. You can’t do that if you lie, or shy away from the truth. You can’t prepare a child if you send him to school with no backpack.
Even if the situation is looking bad, he tells Tsuna that it is.
Understanding
Needless to say, if you don’t communicate with someone, you probably won’t really understand them all that well. There are some relationships where neither party is capable of understanding the other even with communication, which happens.
When it comes to Iemitsu understanding Tsuna, the former can only explain so much before you start to wonder if you’ve wandered into the second category.
[image - Iemitsu: “Well? That was fun.” Tsuna: You call this “fun”? This is a dangerous fight where either one of us could have died… which would have been no laughing matter! I don’t exactly call that fun!!”]
Iemitsu has been away for a few years. Certain amounts of awkwardness can be expected.
Yet…
He saw his son on the ground terrified out of his mind at the Varia’s presence. He had to have seen how nervous he was during the Sun Ring battle. Certainly, he knows that he’s only fourteen and been involved with terrifying mafia nonsense for just little over a year.
These are all obvious signs that Tsuna has absolutely no interest in either the mafia lifestyle or life-and-death battles besides when he’s forced into participating.
So how on earth does Iemitsu blaze past all these neon-bright symbols? How does he even remotely think that Tsuna would enjoy something like that, especially after the way Iemitsu treated him?
His reaction after Tsuna chews him out doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, either.
[image - Iemitsu: “Damn. (He’s pissed off at me.) When you talk like that, you know you sound just like your mom…”]
Instead of acknowledging that he might have said something inappropriate considering things, or that at the very least he’s upset his son, Iemitsu sulks. There’s no apology or realization that what Iemitsu likes is what Tsuna likes. He just pouts because he was scolded.
This isn’t the lack of understanding that comes with being away from a long time. This is a deeper chasm to cross, with the bridge long burned down to embers in ashes. Whatever Iemitsu’s problem is, you can’t entirely blame it on his absence.
Reborn’s own understanding of Tsuna, however, is something that’s pointed out again and again throughout the series.
[image - Lal Mirch: “Sawada’s resolution and Reborn’s understanding of him is really something…”]
Lal doesn’t need to tell the reader this. In the pages prior, it had been shown quite perfectly as Reborn pointed out exactly the kind of person Tsuna is in his own impromptu lesson. In the previous chapters, he also displays this understanding. There are times when Tsuna has to be pushed, where his lessons have to be harsh, and Reborn does this easily.
Other times, he understands that the best way he could teach… is to take a step back.
[image - Tsuna: “Ugh, why does this happen to me!!! I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE! I CAN’T TRAIN! I DON’T WANT TO DO IT!!” Reborn: “That’s fine… Then, at least go to school.”]
Tsuna is in full panic mode. This isn’t unusual for him. Most people would have panicked at the start, what, being told they’re supposed to become a mafia boss and there’s no ifs or buts about it. In this, he’s also just been told that there’s no way he can’t fight the Varia. It’s overwhelming. Frightening. At one point when he’s walking to school, he can’t stop reflecting at how much his hands are shaking.
Sometimes, you can (and need to) force Tsuna into action or else he’ll never do anything. This is a time when it wouldn’t matter how much pushing was done, because he’d be digging his feet in. Not insurmountable, but negatively affecting what he could actually do and learn.
Yet his friends- the first true friends he’s had probably in his whole life- help dispel these emotions. They ground him. Reborn knows that, and that’s why he says for Tsuna to go to school if nothing else.
[image - Reborn: “You’re not focused one bit. The special bullet still has a risk of death. If you don’t concentrate, you will die.” Tsuna: “Even if you say that, I can’t help it! Today’s match has been bugging me…” Reborn: “…The third level can wait. Let’s go back.”]
Again, Reborn knows Tsuna. He knows that no amount of pushing will do anything but harm him. What he needs is to see the Lightning ring battle, whatever the outcome, and realize what he’s fighting for.
It works, in the end, all without Reborn having to tell Tsuna anything. He learns for himself.
Understanding Tsuna is tightly entwined with the last area we’ll talk about, which is…
Teaching
A while ago, when I was gushing about how much I loved the parental relationship Reborn has with Tsuna, someone else in the conversation dismissed it as him just being Tsuna’s mentor. “Of course he does [x], that’s just how a teacher is.” Something like that. Yes, on one hand, it is very easy to brush aside certain things as “Reborn is his mentor, that’s what mentors do. It doesn’t mean he’s parental or a parental figure to Tsuna at all.”
Here’s the thing: a parent, whether they like it or not, is a mentor to their child. Before a child ever gets a backup and goes to school, their parent is where they learn everything from. (Or whichever adult figure is in their early life.) It is the parent who teaches them how to walk, how to eat on their own, how to deal with crying. For some things, the parent might not be conscious of how much they’re teaching their child, but it’s being taught. A parent is automatically a teacher.
In turn, a teacher isn’t quite so restricted. They aren’t “automatically” a parent. Most of the time, they’re more like a babysitter. Some times, they’re a worst enemy and the kids under their care come out from class hating what they’ve been taught just out of association.
Then, occasionally… You do find the teacher that becomes more than their station. They become a role model. A friend. A confidant. A parent, in some ways, especially to those who find that role in their life unfilled.
Reborn lives in the Sawada household, eats dinner with them, helps Tsuna out with homework (yeah he actually does do tutoring in one chapter), listens to Tsuna’s troubles… all while also trying to teach him how to be a mafia boss. The “this isn’t personal or past the usual mentor-student roles” line has been passed early on in the series.
And, as a parental figure in Tsuna’s life, when it comes to teaching Tsuna…
[image - Reborn: “Don’t try to act cool, Tsuna. You’re not the sort to be a hero, are you? You and your reasons for enduring this training- to bring everyone back ot the past, or to defeat your enemies- they’re not you at all. Your feelings were a lot more simple at the time, weren’t they?”]
As we’ve discussed in “Understanding”, Reborn is really really good at getting through to Tsuna. He understands him. Thus, he can figure out the best ways to teach him.
Usually, it’s not even a complicated lesson plan. Time and time again, Reborn starts off with stepping back and seeing if Tsuna will come to the answers on his own. Sometimes, Tsuna does. (ex. The aftermath of the lightning ring battle, where Tsuna realizes that regardless of how he feels, he can’t let someone like Xanxus take charge.) Sometimes, Tsuna doesn’t, and Reborn has to step in if any progress is to be made. That’s fine. That’s what he’s there for.
And when Reborn steps in, he doesn’t mess around. Most of the time, with all the accuracy and force of his bullets, he gets straight to the point. See the above panels. See also…
[image - Reborn: “First of all, you need to acknowledge him. ‘Iemitsu’.”]
Chapter 370 is one of my favorite chapters, and Reborn’s interactions with Tsuna is honestly the main reason why. It’s clear and concise.
“This is your problem. This is why you have it. And this? Is how you fix it.” And then he leads by example.
In comparison, Iemitsu doesn’t even try to address Tsuna. We’re told a couple chapters later that Iemitsu also wants to see Tsuna grow up and become stronger…
[image - Iemitsu: “Fighting with you is boring.”]
[image - Tsuna: “Don’t ignore me!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!”]
Yet what we’re shown isn’t even at attempt to help Tsuna accomplish either. In his first fight against Tsuna, mostly he just seems to mock him. (If not his intent, then surely how it came across, certainly to Tsuna.)
In the second battle… Just suddenly ignoring your (very serious) son, and then calling him boring? With the implication that he’s disappointed you?
(And what salt in the wound that must be to Tsuna, whose thoughts are likely “how dare this person who’s abandoned my family, who ignores me and how I feel, who doesn’t even try, how dare he say he’s disappointed in me when he doesn’t even know me”)
This isn’t teaching or helping Tsuna in any way. It might be teaching Tsuna that his dad is an asshole, but that’s really it. Honestly, ignoring your kid when they’re worked up and upset is one of the worst things you can do, in my opinion. It’s an apathetic response that tells them you don’t care.
Even Lal Mirch and Colonello seem confused at what exactly Iemitsu is trying to do here.
Conclusion
So am I saying that Iemitsu is the top contender for Worst Anime Dad Ever?
Nah.
Am I saying that he hates his kid?
Also nah.
Am I saying that Tsuna should hate him?
For the third and final time, nah.
In anime and manga alone, there are a multitude of fathers or father figures who are 100x worse than Iemitsu. Tsuna hasn’t been merged with a dog, or secretly experimented on to make a super weapon, or frozen in a block of ice for eight years. We’re already doing pretty great in that area of “Shitty Anime Parenting 101″. It’s simply that when you take away all the fantastical aspects of KHR, from the super powered fights to the mafia, Iemitsu is a shitty dad in all the mundane ways. There are people in the real world who have to deal with parents ignoring their feelings, parents who lie to them, who forge aggressively on ahead while not paying any mind to what their kids feel or like.
Despite this, again, I don’t think Iemitsu hates Tsuna. The problem lies, I think, in that throughout my read of KHR, I always got the impression that…
Iemitsu doesn’t actually see Tsuna as Tsuna. He doesn’t see him as an actual person.
Their first fight in the final arc highlights it clearly, in my opinion.
[image - Iemitsu: “Because you were born to me and your beloved mother. Because you’re my son. Is that not enough?”]
This is in response to Tsuna demanding what and how Iemitsu knows, honestly, anything about him. I don’t know about anyone else, but that answer isn’t satisfying at all. It does, however, reveal something vital and put it out in the open.
Iemitsu is running on a preconceived notion, a shallow stereotype, of how fathers and their children should act with each other… regardless of what the actual reality is. Fathers should be casual and intimate and love their sons, and sons should love hanging out with their fathers and share interests, etc.
“Because you’re my son.” That’s it, that’s his reasoning. Timoteo, Vongola Nono, the Ninth, he has a better explanation for how he knows Tsuna so well. Iemitsu’s answer cannot possibly cut it.
Why does he do this? Is it because, again, he’s been away from years and this seems like the thing to fall back on instead of expending any effort in getting to know his son? Take a look how head over heels he is for Nana- does that have something to do with it and Tsuna is more a symbol of his and Nana’s relationship than his own person in Iemitsu’s eyes?
At least Iemitsu does one thing right…
[image - Iemitsu: “Tsuna turned out this way because of me.”]
I like to think that he’s taking responsibility anyway, and not how Nana seems to see it, with how she talks with him being away for so long. That’s… not really the problem, after all.
Moving onto Tsuna’s feelings towards his father, I don’t think he’s even capable of hating anyone. Mukuro threatens to kill his friends and possess his body, but Tsuna still asks Reborn repeatedly for updates on the Kokuyo Gang after that. Xanxus threatens to murder everyone Tsuna loves, and Tsuna still tries to get him to see that Timoteo still loved him. Daemon Spade did a whole plot that nearly killed one of his friends, kidnapped and brainwashed another, and was basically Super Horrible, but Tsuna still tried to reassure this hot mess about his dead girlfriend before he faded away.
The exception to this is probably Byakuran, but even then, in the changed timeline, Tsuna was cautiously willing to give him a second chance and outright admitted he just had no clue how his mind worked.
So, yeah, no. Tsuna doesn’t hate Iemitsu, even if I wouldn’t necessarily blame him for such.
[image - Tsuna: “Let go of me! Whenever you come home, the family gets messed up!”]
…That doesn’t mean he’s not (rightfully) upset at Iemitsu.
A while ago, I saw a post saying that it would be better if Tsuna rebuilt the relationship with his father. That strikes me as strange, to say that a teenager should rebuild the bridge his father set ablaze, and with his father not exactly being the type proven to help rebuild things on his end.
Iemitsu burned the bridge between him and Tsuna. Rebuilding it, on Tsuna’s end, would take a lot of time and effort and frustration.
So why do all that? Is there really any point to it? Would the reward be worth it?
Because there are plenty of other bridges available to Tsuna, now. He can get support and happiness from his friends, his Family. He has a reliable adult figure who he can go to for stability and advice in Reborn.
Sometimes… You have to accept that the bridge has been burnt.
And then you move on.
You make your own family.
That’s what I, personally, think would make Tsuna happier.
subtitle: comparing Iemitsu and Reborn’s relationship to Tsuna, an undertaking which does not make the former look particularly sterling in any way.
Throughout Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, most of Tsuna’s focused relationships are on people near his own age. The majority of his guardians attend school with him, along with the Simon Family. His first major antagonist is a teenager as well. (What’s up with Xanxus, put into cryostasis around the same age? We just don’t know.)
There are two adults, however, who have quite an influence on Tsuna: Iemitsu Sawada and Reborn.
Funnily enough, despite being in similar roles- that of an adult male meant to be respected and (in the best case scenario) cared for- how they interact with Tsuna, their relationship with him, and ultimately how he treats them back are quite contrasting.
The main differences can be divided into four areas, more or less, with the first ultimately encompassing them all.
Communication
You’d think, as the man in charge of an entire division of the Vongola (CEDEF), that Iemitsu would be quite good at communicating with others. When it comes to his son, however, this is by far something he crashes and burns in.
[image: panel 1 on the right. Reborn: “You aren’t going to tell Tsuna about yourself?” Iemitsu: “I’m prepared to say it anytime, but it just won’t happen that smoothly.”]
[panel 2 on the left: Iemitsu “Well, just go along with it! I’ve already distributed what I had to anyway… Nana~. Food!!”]
…Although it would help if he would actually attempt to take the wheel and star the car instead of letting it slam straight into a wall more than half the time.
This is Iemitsu’s problem consistently throughout the series.
When he has an opportunity to speak with his son, he goes about it in the most asinine way and doesn’t push at it…
[image: Iemitsu bursting into Tsuna’s room at 4 in the morning asking if he wants to catch breakfast.]
When things finally end up with him being confronted by his son, he seems unbelievably incapable of talking with him normally. Instead, he acts on a presumed familiarity that’s out of place, doesn’t appear to take things seriously so his son can’t take him seriously, carries on an awkward conversation more with himself than Tsuna…
[image - Iemitsu: “WHAT WAS IT, MATH? ISN’T THAT SOME FUNNY STUFF!?” Tsuna: (thinking) “He’s forcefully trying to keep the conversation going!! And he’s going off on tangents!” (speaking) “It’s… nothing funny.”]
And even if he has the perfect chance to talk to his son about, you know… The Vongola ring, the Varia coming after him, his own role within the CEDEF that he could finally reveal to his son…
[panel on left - Iemitsu: (about the Vongola ring he put on Tsuna’s neck in the middle of the night) “What is that, Tsuna? You’re looking sexy. Isn’t that a pendant?”]
[panel on the right, a couple pages later - Tsuna: “Don’t lie! Who else besides you would do it!?” Reborn: “You didn’t hear anything from [Iemitsu]?”]
Dammit, Iemitsu.
And this isn’t even talking about his bad habit of running away.
[image - Iemitsu: “Oh yeah! Congratulations on one victory! Daddy won’t be able to come home for a while. But be a good boy!” Tsuna: “Hey! That’s troublesome! DON’T RUN AWAY!!”]
It should be noted that, by this panel, Iemitsu made a promise to Tsuna that he would tell him everything later. (When news came through that the Varia were in town and Levi A Than was going after Lambo.) Yet throughout the rest of this arc, Iemitsu rarely if ever explains anything about the battles, the Vongola rings, or the Varia. The majority of Tsuna’s knowledge comes from Reborn.
Maybe Iemitsu has his reasons. He has had no communication with his son for years now, so of course he’ll be awkward in a conversation with him. (Even if this could have been easily amended by writing letters or phoning sometimes.) His tendency to not tell Tsuna anything, well, maybe that’s his tendency in CEDEF- to relegate and trust others under him to inform everyone else of vital information since he can’t do everything.
But. You know. You’d think he could find time at SOME point to make things different and talk with his son.
To Tsuna, after all, none of these potential reasons matter. They’re all excuses. In his eyes, Iemitsu is nothing more than a stranger who has suddenly barged into his life again, makes a reckless mess, speaks over him and doesn’t bother to notice when he’s uncomfortable. After the reveal that Iemitsu runs CEDEF, none of those views change. If anything, they’re made worse by the knowledge that at ANY time Iemitsu could have told him about everything to his face… but he didn’t.
[image - Iemitsu: “Feel free to talk to Daddy about anything.” Tsuna: (speaking) “I-It’s okay!” (thinking) “There’s no point for me to talk about the mafia to Dad!!”]
It’s little wonder that the above is his reaction. Iemitsu is, to Tsuna’s knowledge at that point, a normal person like, say, Kyoko is. That’s reason enough for him to not get his dad involved. Worse yet, his father is unreliable, and weird, and annoying…
There’s no point indeed.
A good contrast is Yamamoto and his father. Their relationship is one that we also get to get a glimpse of during the Varia Ring Battles arc. When told he needs to get stronger, Yamamoto’s first thoughts appear to immediately be of his reliable father. When training his son, Tsuyoshi wastes no time in telling Yamamoto that this is serious but also giving praise where it’s due.
When he’s finished learning the forms, Yamamoto points out that his father never asked him why he was learning with the implication that he would tell him if he did.
In return, Tsuyoshi says there’s no need, and that he has a good enough idea already.
Every bit of their interactions with one another are full of comfort, trust, and honesty. It’s the polar opposite to Tsuna and Iemitsu’s relationship.
Reborn, unlike Iemitsu, doesn’t skirt the issue. There are plenty of examples throughout the series of Reborn being straight to the point when it comes to things Tsuna needs to know, both on a professional level and otherwise. Of course he’ll tell Tsuna about the Varia, what they’re capable of, and yeah he’s really too young to be getting the ring now but these are the circumstances.
But also, when he notes that something is off with Tsuna…
[image - Reborn: “What’s the matter? You’re looking all tired.”]
He just asks. No dancing around the subject. No ridiculous nonsense. Reborn doesn’t say “You can come to me if you want.” He is the one to take the initiative and prove himself as a reliable source.
In return…
[image - Tsuna: “Gokudera-kun respects me as the tenth leader of Vongola… But how about as his friend?”]
[image - Reborn: (speaking) Each time that battle came up in conversation, I’d always hear, “Haven’t you got any new information?” or the like. It seems he was pretty worried about all of you.” Flashback Tsuna: “Those guys… They haven’t been killed, have they?”]
Even in the early chapters, Tsuna is shown to open up to Reborn about matters close to his heart (wondering about his relationship with a close friend) and matters dangerous re: the world Reborn introduced him to (the fate of the Kokuyo gang and if they’d be alright). In stressful times, he relies on Reborn. He confides in him. They’re things Reborn has earned.
Now, I’m not saying Iemitsu should be condemned just for having poor communication skills with his son. Awkward inability to connect with their child or talk with them isn’t really that uncommon with parents. Failure to tell his son about the mafia assassins coming after him (and etc) aside, everything else isn’t, like, the worst shit in the world.
That’s where the next part comes in.
Honesty
Lying to your kids is never a good thing. There are some things where it’s culturally acceptable, like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
It is generally not acceptable to lie to your child that you’ve gone missing (and could potentially be plain dead).
[image - Tsuna: He… He’s finally been found!?” Nana: Found..? What are you talking about…?” Tsuna: “Dad disappeared somewhere, didn’t he!?”]
Alright. To be fair, it does seem like something Tsuna was expected to catch onto- like how there’s no way reindeer can fly or some old dude can go around the whole world in a single night with constant present stops. Likewise, there’s no way stay-at-home mom Nana Sawada can afford a nice large house that keeps her, her son, and the bunch of weirdos that now live with them perfectly happy. Plus food.
(On the other side, if Iemitsu was gone for two years, and Tsuna is only 14… Then they told this to a 11/12 year old, and Nana at least should know how oblivious Tsuna can be in certain areas.)
[image - Tsuna: “What are you holding!? This is Japanese sake!!” Fuuta: “Noo, Papan said it’s water so drink… hic!”]
…Okay, goddammit Iemitsu.
This is on top of the fact that he has lied to his family, Nana and Tsuna, for thirteen years up until this point. There’s the little and obvious, such as Tsuna recalling a time when his father told him that he controlled all the traffic lights in the world… Instead of the “oil company” lie he clearly told Nana.
Then there’s the huge lies, such as the fact that he’s really part of the mafia.
It’s understandable, to a point. No one wants to tell their loved one that they’re part of an enormous criminal organization.
Yet we go over this in the series- both in the Varia arc and the TYL arc. We go over it when Tsuna nearly crumbles under the pressure of Kyoko asking him about the ring battles, her upset that she’s being kept out of the loop and him realizing that this could seriously hurt her brother and doesn’t she deserve to know? We go over this when Kyoko and Haru demand to be told about what’s happening, because it involves them too and they’re not any safer from being kept in the dark.
That’s the problem here too. Iemitsu is a high ranking member of the most powerful mafia family in the world. Nana and Tsuna are absolutely acceptable targets. Tsuna becoming the next Vongola boss just heightens this. And leaving a small child electrified and beat to shit and no answers…?
He also seems to be allergic to responsibility for his own actions.
[image - Iemitsu: “You’ve been sleeping ever since Daddy came home. I thought you were avoiding me and that broke my heart…” Tsuna: “The one who was sleeping all day yesterday was you!!!”]
It’s not a good parent that tries to shuffle responsibility from themself to their child, especially with such a blatant lie that anyone could call out. This is constant lying along with the fact that Iemitsu knows his son is aware of the mafia and that he will likely get involved with it deeply in the future… There’s no reason for it.
Needless to say, Reborn doesn’t give such outright lies to Tsuna. If I recall correctly, the amount of times he lies in the series could be counted on one hand. More commonly, he lies through omission when he does. For example, going “Who knows?” when Tsuna asks him after Hyper Dying Will training if his father was around. It’s a definite non-answer.
Yet those few times are overwhelmed by all the times he tells Tsuna the truth. This is what you’re going to expect in the mafia. This is what your enemies are capable of. This is what you need to do, if you want you and your loved ones to survive. I need this of you- can you do it for me?
He usually tries to give his student all he can so that Tsuna will grow up into a good man despite the future that lays ahead of him. You can’t do that if you lie, or shy away from the truth. You can’t prepare a child if you send him to school with no backpack.
Even if the situation is looking bad, he tells Tsuna that it is.
Understanding
Needless to say, if you don’t communicate with someone, you probably won’t really understand them all that well. There are some relationships where neither party is capable of understanding the other even with communication, which happens.
When it comes to Iemitsu understanding Tsuna, the former can only explain so much before you start to wonder if you’ve wandered into the second category.
[image - Iemitsu: “Well? That was fun.” Tsuna: You call this “fun”? This is a dangerous fight where either one of us could have died… which would have been no laughing matter! I don’t exactly call that fun!!”]
Iemitsu has been away for a few years. Certain amounts of awkwardness can be expected.
Yet…
He saw his son on the ground terrified out of his mind at the Varia’s presence. He had to have seen how nervous he was during the Sun Ring battle. Certainly, he knows that he’s only fourteen and been involved with terrifying mafia nonsense for just little over a year.
These are all obvious signs that Tsuna has absolutely no interest in either the mafia lifestyle or life-and-death battles besides when he’s forced into participating.
So how on earth does Iemitsu blaze past all these neon-bright symbols? How does he even remotely think that Tsuna would enjoy something like that, especially after the way Iemitsu treated him?
His reaction after Tsuna chews him out doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, either.
[image - Iemitsu: “Damn. (He’s pissed off at me.) When you talk like that, you know you sound just like your mom…”]
Instead of acknowledging that he might have said something inappropriate considering things, or that at the very least he’s upset his son, Iemitsu sulks. There’s no apology or realization that what Iemitsu likes is what Tsuna likes. He just pouts because he was scolded.
This isn’t the lack of understanding that comes with being away from a long time. This is a deeper chasm to cross, with the bridge long burned down to embers in ashes. Whatever Iemitsu’s problem is, you can’t entirely blame it on his absence.
Reborn’s own understanding of Tsuna, however, is something that’s pointed out again and again throughout the series.
[image - Lal Mirch: “Sawada’s resolution and Reborn’s understanding of him is really something…”]
Lal doesn’t need to tell the reader this. In the pages prior, it had been shown quite perfectly as Reborn pointed out exactly the kind of person Tsuna is in his own impromptu lesson. In the previous chapters, he also displays this understanding. There are times when Tsuna has to be pushed, where his lessons have to be harsh, and Reborn does this easily.
Other times, he understands that the best way he could teach… is to take a step back.
[image - Tsuna: “Ugh, why does this happen to me!!! I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE! I CAN’T TRAIN! I DON’T WANT TO DO IT!!” Reborn: “That’s fine… Then, at least go to school.”]
Tsuna is in full panic mode. This isn’t unusual for him. Most people would have panicked at the start, what, being told they’re supposed to become a mafia boss and there’s no ifs or buts about it. In this, he’s also just been told that there’s no way he can’t fight the Varia. It’s overwhelming. Frightening. At one point when he’s walking to school, he can’t stop reflecting at how much his hands are shaking.
Sometimes, you can (and need to) force Tsuna into action or else he’ll never do anything. This is a time when it wouldn’t matter how much pushing was done, because he’d be digging his feet in. Not insurmountable, but negatively affecting what he could actually do and learn.
Yet his friends- the first true friends he’s had probably in his whole life- help dispel these emotions. They ground him. Reborn knows that, and that’s why he says for Tsuna to go to school if nothing else.
[image - Reborn: “You’re not focused one bit. The special bullet still has a risk of death. If you don’t concentrate, you will die.” Tsuna: “Even if you say that, I can’t help it! Today’s match has been bugging me…” Reborn: “…The third level can wait. Let’s go back.”]
Again, Reborn knows Tsuna. He knows that no amount of pushing will do anything but harm him. What he needs is to see the Lightning ring battle, whatever the outcome, and realize what he’s fighting for.
It works, in the end, all without Reborn having to tell Tsuna anything. He learns for himself.
Understanding Tsuna is tightly entwined with the last area we’ll talk about, which is…
Teaching
A while ago, when I was gushing about how much I loved the parental relationship Reborn has with Tsuna, someone else in the conversation dismissed it as him just being Tsuna’s mentor. “Of course he does [x], that’s just how a teacher is.” Something like that. Yes, on one hand, it is very easy to brush aside certain things as “Reborn is his mentor, that’s what mentors do. It doesn’t mean he’s parental or a parental figure to Tsuna at all.”
Here’s the thing: a parent, whether they like it or not, is a mentor to their child. Before a child ever gets a backup and goes to school, their parent is where they learn everything from. (Or whichever adult figure is in their early life.) It is the parent who teaches them how to walk, how to eat on their own, how to deal with crying. For some things, the parent might not be conscious of how much they’re teaching their child, but it’s being taught. A parent is automatically a teacher.
In turn, a teacher isn’t quite so restricted. They aren’t “automatically” a parent. Most of the time, they’re more like a babysitter. Some times, they’re a worst enemy and the kids under their care come out from class hating what they’ve been taught just out of association.
Then, occasionally… You do find the teacher that becomes more than their station. They become a role model. A friend. A confidant. A parent, in some ways, especially to those who find that role in their life unfilled.
Reborn lives in the Sawada household, eats dinner with them, helps Tsuna out with homework (yeah he actually does do tutoring in one chapter), listens to Tsuna’s troubles… all while also trying to teach him how to be a mafia boss. The “this isn’t personal or past the usual mentor-student roles” line has been passed early on in the series.
And, as a parental figure in Tsuna’s life, when it comes to teaching Tsuna…
[image - Reborn: “Don’t try to act cool, Tsuna. You’re not the sort to be a hero, are you? You and your reasons for enduring this training- to bring everyone back ot the past, or to defeat your enemies- they’re not you at all. Your feelings were a lot more simple at the time, weren’t they?”]
As we’ve discussed in “Understanding”, Reborn is really really good at getting through to Tsuna. He understands him. Thus, he can figure out the best ways to teach him.
Usually, it’s not even a complicated lesson plan. Time and time again, Reborn starts off with stepping back and seeing if Tsuna will come to the answers on his own. Sometimes, Tsuna does. (ex. The aftermath of the lightning ring battle, where Tsuna realizes that regardless of how he feels, he can’t let someone like Xanxus take charge.) Sometimes, Tsuna doesn’t, and Reborn has to step in if any progress is to be made. That’s fine. That’s what he’s there for.
And when Reborn steps in, he doesn’t mess around. Most of the time, with all the accuracy and force of his bullets, he gets straight to the point. See the above panels. See also…
[image - Reborn: “First of all, you need to acknowledge him. ‘Iemitsu’.”]
Chapter 370 is one of my favorite chapters, and Reborn’s interactions with Tsuna is honestly the main reason why. It’s clear and concise.
“This is your problem. This is why you have it. And this? Is how you fix it.” And then he leads by example.
In comparison, Iemitsu doesn’t even try to address Tsuna. We’re told a couple chapters later that Iemitsu also wants to see Tsuna grow up and become stronger…
[image - Iemitsu: “Fighting with you is boring.”]
[image - Tsuna: “Don’t ignore me!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!”]
Yet what we’re shown isn’t even at attempt to help Tsuna accomplish either. In his first fight against Tsuna, mostly he just seems to mock him. (If not his intent, then surely how it came across, certainly to Tsuna.)
In the second battle… Just suddenly ignoring your (very serious) son, and then calling him boring? With the implication that he’s disappointed you?
(And what salt in the wound that must be to Tsuna, whose thoughts are likely “how dare this person who’s abandoned my family, who ignores me and how I feel, who doesn’t even try, how dare he say he’s disappointed in me when he doesn’t even know me”)
This isn’t teaching or helping Tsuna in any way. It might be teaching Tsuna that his dad is an asshole, but that’s really it. Honestly, ignoring your kid when they’re worked up and upset is one of the worst things you can do, in my opinion. It’s an apathetic response that tells them you don’t care.
Even Lal Mirch and Colonello seem confused at what exactly Iemitsu is trying to do here.
Conclusion
So am I saying that Iemitsu is the top contender for Worst Anime Dad Ever?
Nah.
Am I saying that he hates his kid?
Also nah.
Am I saying that Tsuna should hate him?
For the third and final time, nah.
In anime and manga alone, there are a multitude of fathers or father figures who are 100x worse than Iemitsu. Tsuna hasn’t been merged with a dog, or secretly experimented on to make a super weapon, or frozen in a block of ice for eight years. We’re already doing pretty great in that area of “Shitty Anime Parenting 101″. It’s simply that when you take away all the fantastical aspects of KHR, from the super powered fights to the mafia, Iemitsu is a shitty dad in all the mundane ways. There are people in the real world who have to deal with parents ignoring their feelings, parents who lie to them, who forge aggressively on ahead while not paying any mind to what their kids feel or like.
Despite this, again, I don’t think Iemitsu hates Tsuna. The problem lies, I think, in that throughout my read of KHR, I always got the impression that…
Iemitsu doesn’t actually see Tsuna as Tsuna. He doesn’t see him as an actual person.
Their first fight in the final arc highlights it clearly, in my opinion.
[image - Iemitsu: “Because you were born to me and your beloved mother. Because you’re my son. Is that not enough?”]
This is in response to Tsuna demanding what and how Iemitsu knows, honestly, anything about him. I don’t know about anyone else, but that answer isn’t satisfying at all. It does, however, reveal something vital and put it out in the open.
Iemitsu is running on a preconceived notion, a shallow stereotype, of how fathers and their children should act with each other… regardless of what the actual reality is. Fathers should be casual and intimate and love their sons, and sons should love hanging out with their fathers and share interests, etc.
“Because you’re my son.” That’s it, that’s his reasoning. Timoteo, Vongola Nono, the Ninth, he has a better explanation for how he knows Tsuna so well. Iemitsu’s answer cannot possibly cut it.
Why does he do this? Is it because, again, he’s been away from years and this seems like the thing to fall back on instead of expending any effort in getting to know his son? Take a look how head over heels he is for Nana- does that have something to do with it and Tsuna is more a symbol of his and Nana’s relationship than his own person in Iemitsu’s eyes?
At least Iemitsu does one thing right…
[image - Iemitsu: “Tsuna turned out this way because of me.”]
I like to think that he’s taking responsibility anyway, and not how Nana seems to see it, with how she talks with him being away for so long. That’s… not really the problem, after all.
Moving onto Tsuna’s feelings towards his father, I don’t think he’s even capable of hating anyone. Mukuro threatens to kill his friends and possess his body, but Tsuna still asks Reborn repeatedly for updates on the Kokuyo Gang after that. Xanxus threatens to murder everyone Tsuna loves, and Tsuna still tries to get him to see that Timoteo still loved him. Daemon Spade did a whole plot that nearly killed one of his friends, kidnapped and brainwashed another, and was basically Super Horrible, but Tsuna still tried to reassure this hot mess about his dead girlfriend before he faded away.
The exception to this is probably Byakuran, but even then, in the changed timeline, Tsuna was cautiously willing to give him a second chance and outright admitted he just had no clue how his mind worked.
So, yeah, no. Tsuna doesn’t hate Iemitsu, even if I wouldn’t necessarily blame him for such.
[image - Tsuna: “Let go of me! Whenever you come home, the family gets messed up!”]
…That doesn’t mean he’s not (rightfully) upset at Iemitsu.
A while ago, I saw a post saying that it would be better if Tsuna rebuilt the relationship with his father. That strikes me as strange, to say that a teenager should rebuild the bridge his father set ablaze, and with his father not exactly being the type proven to help rebuild things on his end.
Iemitsu burned the bridge between him and Tsuna. Rebuilding it, on Tsuna’s end, would take a lot of time and effort and frustration.
So why do all that? Is there really any point to it? Would the reward be worth it?
Because there are plenty of other bridges available to Tsuna, now. He can get support and happiness from his friends, his Family. He has a reliable adult figure who he can go to for stability and advice in Reborn.
Sometimes… You have to accept that the bridge has been burnt.
And then you move on.
You make your own family.
That’s what I, personally, think would make Tsuna happier.